My Current Obsession

A couple of months after I had a taste of the Hallyu wave, I find myself moving on from baby boy Lee Min Ho, to baby Jang Keun Suk. Lol!

This is crazy! After all, I'm no teenager experiencing their first crush or first love. I am a 34 year old adult who've had her share of heartaches.

But somehow, I feel like a teenager every time I see this 27 year old who calls himself Asia Prince. As for me, he is no Asia prince. He is MY PRINCE! I find him smart and funny and definitely not boring. He seems like a no-nonsense kind of guy who knows what he wants and will work hard to achieve his dreams. Even while working, he pushed himself to finish college and he manages his own career - singing, acting and modeling. He is very busy but he sure knows how to party!

His voice is also to-die-for, I think! He has this husky, manly voice that only singers have! It makes me smile to listen to him before going to sleep.  And even when I work, I like to put his songs on repeat and I just bury myself in his voice and my work...

That, and of course, he is good looking! What a great smile! :)

#medyobadboy

#glamping

riding on the hallyu bandwagon - 5 years late...

Almost 5yrs since he rose to fame via the series Boys Over Flowers, here i am and i can't believe i'm crushing on Lee Min Ho. The guy that portrayed the role of Gu Jun Pyo - Meteor Garden's Dao Ming Xi counterpart. I suddenly remembered crushing on Jerry Yan some 10yrs ago in the same way.

But what makes baby boy Lee Min Ho different, i think, is that he is more adorable off camera. In less than a month I was able to finish all of his TV series - City Hunter, Personal Taste, The Faith and The Heirs. His personality oozes of the screen.

Most enjoyable, despite the fact that I don't always understand what he is talking about, is seeing his videos and interviews on You Tube. He is just so funny. His infectious laugh, that dimple, and the smile that looks as if he's thinking of doing something naughty! lol

He seems so down to earth and such a nice person to be with and talk to. He's my pampa-goodvibes everyday. I listen to his songs - even if I don't understand what he is saying. I watch his video interviews just to hear his laugh and see his smile.

I wonder if, just like Taylor, I'd get to meet you and say hi. :)

My 34th Birthday

It's now exactly 1 hr past 12mn on my 34th birthday, Jan. 28, 1980. I've been meaning to start writing this a few minutes before 12mn but I had some password issues. And then 12mn came and I was pleasantly surprised by the whole software team coming to my desk with a cake and singing "Happy Birthday." I was really caught by surprise coz I was not expecting it. A couple of hours earlier I was even teasing Hazel to buy me a cake as she is buying one for her rep. I knew I was going to have a cake tomorrow but I didn't know I'll have one today. Thanks team! I feel really loved! :)

So this is it. I am now 34 years old. I feel very old :( and a bit sad, as expected.  I feel a bit lonely not having someone to spend my special day with.  It's touching to know that everyone around me wishes for me to be happy and to finally meet The One.  I wonder where he is, though...I claim that this year is my year and that I get to meet him finally.  I wonder where he is and what he is doing? I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him...to start our family! :)

Anyways, happy 34th birthday to me.  Hoping that next year I won't be spending it alone anymore! :))

searching...

so it's been 1 year and 4 months since i left you and...here i am...2 promotions, 4 salary adjustments, bigger responsibilites, more teams to handle. i even got myself a new car - a red innova! i buy nice things for myself, i live in a nice, safe place and people tell me i look well, younger even. :) i think i have been well, i have adjusted and am now more independent - or so i'd like to think. i can do things on my own - i can even go to the mall or eat in a restaurant by myself. i go out occasionally, with friends or office mates. i've even gotten drunk a couple of times, hahaha.

after you, i'd like to believe i've been on the straight path again. looking at guys, crushing on guys - even got my name linked to a couple of guys. but this show on tv has made me look at myself differently again. i think i'm confused. i'm seriously crushing on 2 kids (almost half my age) and it's making me think twice about myself. what am i really...or should i say, who am i really? i don't know myself anymore! how can i have identity crisis at age 33? even after a relationship with you!

more than that, however, looking at their fb profile, twitter and instagram accounts has made me realize what i'm missing in my life. i need someone to make me feel special again. :( it makes me said to feel so incomplete because, unlike them, i have no one in my life. :( maybe it's because christmas is fast approaching and that is why i'm feeling this way. i dunno...maybe i've been single a long time. 1 year and 4 months is a long time! i think i've moved on.

i know that the Lord has plans for me. but i really hope his plans are for me to have someone special in my life. to be able to start a family - have a husband and kids to complete me. i hope, too it doesn't take too long...

Moving on....

Next week will be my second month of being single.  If I am honest with myself, I will have to admit that this situation is giving me mixed emotions.  While I am quite happy being free and able to do whatever I want, I find myself in a situation where I have so much time with my hands than what to do with.  Sometimes I get so bored and want to go out but don't know who to go out with.

I knew I will regret the fact that I lost contact and communication with my friends as years went by.  I just didn't want to think about it then because I was too engrossed with my happiness.  Little did I know that it was just temporary.  I read somewhere that Aquarians such as I cannot be caged - I guess we're too weird to just stick to one thing permanently. Now I am suffering the consequences of those actions.

I must admit there are times that I miss you.  I miss being with someone...of talking until the wee hours about nothing in particular...I miss going home to someone...I feel so alone sometimes that I feel self pity - specially on weekends.  While everyone around me has plans, I have nothing to do but sleep or watch TV.  Sometimes I want to go out with my colleagues but I feel the gap...it's just not the same as when I used to go out with my Sykes friends.  Now I feel so old and left out.

Almost two months after my break up, I think I am starting to like someone.  But I know nothing will come out of it.  He is 6 yrs my junior and I am his boss's boss. :(  Again, I feel so old. I know I have to start meeting and hanging out with people my age but I don't know how to do that.  Most people my age are already married and with kids. 

On the positive side, I think I am finally moving on.  I cannot say that I am officially free though until after the "three month period."  But as early as now I do believe it is really over...I know for sure I won't be liking someone if I am still in love with you...I think this is it...I am moving on...

What's next?

It's the second day in my new house and the silence is a welcome reprieve.  I left my old house and my relationship and as of this minute I am looking forward to the future.  I just hope I can be strong and not cling back to my past.  It has happened several times...me moving out...but I kept coming back. I hope this is finally it.  I am not getting any younger and I need to fix my life.  Please, God...help me!

Hurting

About a week ago I posted a quote on facebook. Call it unlucky but my ex liked the comment and Mai saw it. She got very mad and shouted and threatened. She asked how we became FB friends, if I accepted his invite or if I invited him. To make the long story short, she didn't believe anything I told her.

Six years into the relationship and she still thinks of me as a slut. As if I would sleep around like some common whore. I think so highly of myself and it hurts more that she thinks so low of me.

To this day she is making me suffer. She said I have awakened the sleeping bear in hear. She taunts me at every opportunity. I threatened to leave her but she told me she will follow me wherever I go and will not give me peace. That she will make my life miserable if I did.

At my age, I no longer find it amusing nor tolerable. All I know is that if she pushes me back to a life of taunting and fighting, I won't be able to take it. She will pay for all the suffering she is giving me.

If she doesn't stop and push me to my limits, she will regret her actions all her life!!!