searching...

so it's been 1 year and 4 months since i left you and...here i am...2 promotions, 4 salary adjustments, bigger responsibilites, more teams to handle. i even got myself a new car - a red innova! i buy nice things for myself, i live in a nice, safe place and people tell me i look well, younger even. :) i think i have been well, i have adjusted and am now more independent - or so i'd like to think. i can do things on my own - i can even go to the mall or eat in a restaurant by myself. i go out occasionally, with friends or office mates. i've even gotten drunk a couple of times, hahaha.

after you, i'd like to believe i've been on the straight path again. looking at guys, crushing on guys - even got my name linked to a couple of guys. but this show on tv has made me look at myself differently again. i think i'm confused. i'm seriously crushing on 2 kids (almost half my age) and it's making me think twice about myself. what am i really...or should i say, who am i really? i don't know myself anymore! how can i have identity crisis at age 33? even after a relationship with you!

more than that, however, looking at their fb profile, twitter and instagram accounts has made me realize what i'm missing in my life. i need someone to make me feel special again. :( it makes me said to feel so incomplete because, unlike them, i have no one in my life. :( maybe it's because christmas is fast approaching and that is why i'm feeling this way. i dunno...maybe i've been single a long time. 1 year and 4 months is a long time! i think i've moved on.

i know that the Lord has plans for me. but i really hope his plans are for me to have someone special in my life. to be able to start a family - have a husband and kids to complete me. i hope, too it doesn't take too long...